Written on 11/29, published 11/30 due to Medium’s Limit
This will be my last entry for my class mandated blog. Whether I continue this blog after the class is up in the air. I imagine I’ll come back every now and again to add things and give updates to my life. Over the course of these entries, I’ve realized that’s what I enjoyed the most. While I love video games, treating these as diary entries have got me thinking a lot.
Before starting this last entry, I went back and looked at my “life” update entries for this assignment. A lot of things have changed and a lot of things from those are the same.
I still am feeling excited about what is to come. Tomorrow (11/30/2020), I have a job interview where I’m hoping? for a job offer. I’m under the impression that they're interested in me, but I don’t know for sure. I leave things like that to chance, for lack of a better word. I’ve got to a weird point with where I’m at right now.
I’m starting to take things as they are. It’s a really odd place for me to be in. I’m almost angry at myself for letting myself get so stressed out about things for so many years. Just like senior year of high school (where did 4 years go?), I cared about things that I really didn’t need to care about. Grades, college applications, people, etc. What is odd is that all those things I stopped caring about my senior year I started caring about again as soon as I got to University. I cared way too much about my grades and not enough about developing good relationships around campus. I tried to be someone I wasn’t. I wasn’t authentic. I wasn’t the real me.
Fast-forward to now and I reflect back on who I was over the past three years. I realize now the same thing I realized when I was a senior in high school. I placed the value on the wrong things again. Despite caring less about my grades, I performed quite well overall in my courses. When I sought out friends, I enjoyed my time overall. I forced myself to converse with people I hadn’t before and to be more open. I don’t care if these people “don’t like me”. I don’t care if I talk too much in psychology class. It is such a liberating feeling to live like this.
Looking forward, I’m excited for what is to come. I hope I get a job offer tomorrow, but If I don’t I have faith something will come along. I want to simply get my feet wet in the working world and be able to contribute to a company. I want a nice paycheck, a big video game collection, and not much more. This year has been a whirlwind for everyone, but for me it has had a lot of ups and not very many downs. I’ve improved my physical, mental, and spiritual health.
So let's end it here for now. At the precipitous of something new. No more school. No more college. More responsibilities. More money. More life.
Ben
